Okay, Fine.

After much (MUCH) resistance (I'm always compelled to nerd out and quote Star Trek: The Next Generation--"Resistance is futile!"--God, I'm a dork, you hate me already, don't you?), much time spent poking gentle fun at blogging, and generally thinking it's sort of odd to spill your guts for any and all to stumble across, I have started a blog.

And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? Oh, wait...nevermind. I'm meandering again. I write about music about 98% of the time that I am writing anything (excluding e-mails, posting idiotic shit on people's Facebook/MySpace pages, etc.) and I want to write about other things I guess. Stuff about my life, or for what passes as my life. I watch bad TV a lot and sometimes I'll write about that, I go out with my friends and my friends do funny shit. A lot. This isn't going to be about just a few things though. I'm going to treat this thing as my therapist because at least when you say "Well, I can't help you, you're overly neurotic and just plain nuts." I can't hear you. So, it's going to be like every other blog you've read probably, just more self-involved, I suppose. I'll try to entertain you, but we'll see how well I do.

This is what I'll leave you with today: My friend JP revels in torturing me about my "obsession" with Hollywood, even though I swear to God I don't have one, it's just her perception, honest. But asking her gets you a different story and we constantly argue about this, which makes the rest of our friends sort of uncomfortable because we argue like siblings about everything and this particular disagreement can get semi-heated (we say needlessly mean things to one another, loudly tell each other to "shut the fuck up" often, claim the other one is adopted, etc.) One time this guy who we both sort of know but don't know real well (we both see him at a weekly coffeehouse gig, so there isn't a ton of audience interaction and we're at first-name-only status) asked me if we were in fact related and it was in direct response to the way we speak to each other. The point of all of this is Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, or whatever the hell that goddamn kid's name is. Late last week it was reported that Angelina Jolie had her twins, then all of the news sources backpedaled when it became obvious that there was still only one white kid present in that ever-growing brood that is starting to resemble the collective offspring of Cletus The Slack-Jawed Yokel from "The Simpsons". There was a report on Yahoo! today that "Entertainment Tonight" still had not retracted their report. For some reason the editor in chief of OK! Magazine, Sarah Ivens, was interviewed for the story about why ET had not retracted their story and she had this to say: "Essentially you have two of the most beautiful, famous people in the world. We've all seen they've had one baby, Shiloh, and it is the coolest, most adorable baby on the planet. And this time they're having two? It can't get any better." Hmm, I have a couple of questions. Firstly, is this Sarah Ivens person possibly fifteen years old? Shiloh is "the coolest, most adorable baby on the planet"? You have to be fucking kidding me. Yeah, ok the kid's cute or whatever and her tiny track jacket probably cost half as much as my car, but that kid is not any cooler that any other two-year-old. A two-year-old is a two-year-old. She still throws temper tantrums and probably wets the bed every so often--definitely not cool things to do. No two-year-old is cool. Oh, I know what you're thinking: that I'm anti-kid and that's not true. But kids are kids, none of them are "cool", they're just kids, they aren't supposed to be. She probably can't even spell "Shiloh" for Christ's sake, I can barely spell it. And there lies the rub: Yeah, I pay more attention to Hollywood than I would care to admit, but Hollywood sort of pisses me off. People that say things in public about two-year-olds being the "coolest, most adorable baby on the planet" are awarded editor in chief positions at magazines and my buddy, The Doctor, who's a screenwriter out there, writes whip-smart, affecting, sometimes funny scripts and you don't know his name. So while I am paying attention to it, I'm really paying attention to it, if you follow me.